Drinking on the Job

This morning I got a pleasant surprise. I was cited in an AJ Jacobs' article: http://www.esquire.com/blogs/news/huddled-masses-drinking-on-job

My initial answer, from which he pulled my response, was, "First, you're assuming the post was truthful. I lie all the time on the internet. Or do I? Second, three beers does necessarily equal intoxication. It could, but depending on their size, ABV, employee's biology, etc. it might not have done very much at all. Third (and really first), do you have a policy about being under the influence of drugs and alcohol in place? If you do not, you have no footing to punish for the drinking itself. If the employee is capable of doing the job, that should be the determining factor."

(I realize I left out the word "not" in "does necessarily equal intoxication". Thankfully, AJ was able to grasp what I was saying.)

I'm not advocating drinking on the job. At least not for most jobs or most people. But I've had menial jobs in the past, and I would occasionally sneak off for a drink or two before alphabetizing a box of books or sweeping the porch free of leaves. Don't drink and drive. But I'd certainly say you should consider having a beer before, during, and/or after digging holes for a garden. Also, some writers find that alcohol helps them write. 

In college I would mix Jagermeister and SoBe's No Fear (an energy drink) for what I called a "Don't Fear the Jager". The ratio was usually 1:2, but I discovered that it helped with my writing. I would mix it much weaker, like 1:8 and I called that a "Paperwriter". The caffeine kept me going, and the little bit of alcohol loosened my inhibitions. I wrote many college papers, usually getting a B/B+. Once I got a D, but that was mostly because that class was much harder than the rest. (A word of warning: if you're going to stay up all night drinking and writing a paper, remember that you've been up all night drinking. That means take a cab or arrange a ride from someone. Also: don't go to fencing class, like I did. Dislocated my knee.)

I'm pursuing a career in writing, and I've found that a glass of absinthe can put me in the state of mind I need to write. While brainstorming the next section of my book, I like to grab a beer and let my mind wander. This infographic http://en.ilovecoffee.jp/posts/view/79 talks about the benefits of alcohol on creativity. Mad Men was right about that thing.

Scotch

This is a hard one for some people. The thick,smoky flavor seems to turn off a lot of people. I remember getting a glass of something that tasted like it would be much better as a dipping sauce for chicken and steak than something to be taken directly.

But it turns out that there are multiple types of Scotches out there, and they are from various parts of Scotland. So yes, there's the smoky barbecue ones, but there are also the lighter floral ones. I haven't researched Scotch well enough to tell you which regions have which flavor characteristics, but I can tell you that Glenfiddich 12 is a great start. It's not overly smoky and can be sipped neat or on the rocks.

The longer it's been aged, the mellower the flavor. There's a certain harshness to Scotch, I find, so this mellowing is desirable to me. I try to aim for 12 years, unless I'm feeling spendy. I've purchased a 21 year old bottle, but didn't enjoy it proportionally more. It was around $110, but I would have been better served by three $30-40 bottles.

Sometimes you'll find that it says it's been matured on sherry or port (or others). This indicates that after it sat in the barrel for X years, it was placed in a second barrel that was used to age that named alcohol. It will then finish in the second barrel for a few months before bottling. I've only had sherry finished once, but it didn't make a good impression on me. I've had friends drink the same bottle with me, and they liked it. Port and sauterne are good though. I've also had some good luck with rum barrels.

There's single malt, blends, etc. Single malt costs more, and it's good. Blends can be nice, but not necessarily. They tend to be cheaper though, so maybe you could start with a blended 12 year old Scotch to see if that appeals. Save some money that way.

That's another thing. Scotch is pricey. A quality vodka goes for about $30 a bottle. A fine bottle of Scotch goes for that price. I've routinely spent $45~50 for a good 12 year. I think it's worth the money, but you may not.

Story time children (but hopefully no actual children are reading this).

My friend Nate loves smoky Scotches. The smokier, the better. Me, not so much. But he did recommend smoking a nice cigar with them. The idea is that the smoke of the cigar will overpower the smokiness of the Scotch, like eating candy and then drinking soda. But instead of getting a mouthful of crap-tasting swill, the other flavors are brought to the forefront. Scotches are rarely a one-trick pony.

We did a cigar, Scotch and Archer night at my place (wait, I had something for this). I should have taken a picture of the table that night. I think we had 10 bottles. We started lightest to heaviest. When it came time to hit the super smokies, we did a taste pre-cigar. It was overwhelming. We went to the patio to smoke, bringing our glasses, and the bottles because why not.

Outside, we lit the cigars and just enjoyed their aroma for a while. Finally, I grabbed my glass and took another sip. Wow, what a difference. I tasted orange and spice, and some other stuff, I'm sure. You're probably thinking it was just due to the Scotch breathing. I wondered that myself. I poured a fresh finger and gave it a sip. It wasn't quite as good as the glass that I just finished, but I definitely could taste the flavors under the smoke.

A few more glasses were had. Stories told; jokes swapped; cigars finally stubbed out.

We resumed inside, re-visiting several bottles and finishing off the marathon. Soon the sun came out. We had been up all night drinking Scotch and smoking cigars. Hardly a bad way to spend 8 hours. I fished out two cigarettes and we called it a morning. He said he was OK to drive, and he seemed like he was.

I got a text saying he was home. I went to bed. I knew I'd have to clean up later. Much later.

Doppelbock

I went to a beer tasting at Mercury Lounge a few weeks ago.  I had Paulaner's Salvator for the first time, and it was one of my favorite beers of the evening.  People have called it "liquid bread" and it is quite hardy.  I was then told of a blog by a brewer who did a beer and water fast for Lent, and not only survived, but was in great health at the end.  I don't feel like linking, but it was a good read.

Based upon the accompanying lecture, the beer style was originally called salvator, but at some point the name was bought and now it's Salvator, capitalized.  Doppelbock is the name of the style, and beers ending in -ator are likely to be one.  But if you're not into learning about beer, all you need to know is that it's a strong beer (around 8%) and quite malty.  I had one for dinner, along with some water, and I'm not at all hungry.

I've picked up several six packs since that day, and at some point would like to do my own beer and water fast.  But probably just for a week.  It would be mostly for fun, to see if I could do it.  When I get around to it, I'll take notes.  And of course, I'll write them up nicely for y'all to read.

I'm told that it is technically possible to live on nothing but milk and Guinness.  I won't be trying that experiment though.

Tokyo tea

I'm sure you're familiar with the Long Island tea (vodka, gin, tequila, light rum, triple sec, sour mix, cola) but the Tokyo tea is less popular, though I'm not sure why.  It's mostly the same ingredients as the Long Island, but Midori is substituted for the triple sec (or simply added, if the bar isn't stingy) and no cola.  Sour mix usually.  Back in college my friend Sam told me about 'em.  Once I was 21, I got one at Joe's (if you've been to Santa Barbara, you should know about Joe's).  The bartender garnished with a lime, which was brilliant.  I've had it made by other bartenders who garnish with a cherry, but the drink is already sweet enough.  The bitterness of the lime is much nicer, in my opinion.

I picked up the ingredients, but I went with cheaper booze than I usually buy.  The vodka, gin and light rum were all fine.  The tequila, however, was a bad idea.  Even with using only the slightest splash of tequila, it was off.  Today, I decided to go with some better tequila.  I picked up some Hornitos at the market.  I mixed up a supersized drink this evening.  One shot each of vodka, gin, tequila, and rum, half a shot of triple sec and two shots of Midori.  To that, I added a splash of margarita mix (sour mix is hard to find here) two splashes of soursop juice (an Asian fruit, I can't explain the flavor) and three splashes of 7up.  It's eminently better.  Though a lime wedge would be even better.

Other variations I've been served included pineapple juice instead of sour mix (good, but different) and sans tequila (something to consider if you don't like tequila, but you're making me sad).  And remember, even if it's "normal sized" it's still a lot of booze.  Be careful and have fun!

Hooch

Well not exactly, but I have started making my own alcohol at home.  By federal law, I'm allowed 100 gallons of beer and 100 gallons of wine a year.  That seems like a lot.  There's a kit one can buy online (I don't feel like looking it up right now) and it comes with pre-measured yeast packs and an airlock.  I started with pineapple, but the brand I was using had pulp, which ended up blocking the vent and caused the airlock to pop off.  I'll keep my eyes out for a pineapple juice without solids in it.  Right now I'm finishing off my apple.  It's not very strong, but it tastes nice. 

I found it especially nice last evening after a night of drinking and dancing.  Most people probably associate hangovers with waking up the next day, but I've noticed that if I drink enough early in the day, I will start to get a headache once I stop drinking.  One way to curb it is to grab a beer and take a swig.  Usually that does the trick, but it's important to not drink too much more.  So I went out for a friend's birthday, but it was also St Patrick's Day.  I started drinking around 7:30 and stopped at 10, or so.  Once downtown, I had a little water and a Red Bull.  Much dancing.  Afterward, I swung by McDonald's for some chicken nuggets and then headed home.  I noticed this weird feeling and identified it as the very beginning of the hangover.  I poured a glass of sturm (technically what I made) and that staved it off until I was asleep.

I decided I would look it up after all.  My e-mail confirmation calls the kit "DIY Juice to Alcohol Kit".  Reading online in various homebrew forums shows the contempt some people have for it, as it's not very sophisticated.  I don't care.  It makes alcohol ;)