Stocking Up

What’s up you cool babies?

I saw a question on Facebook from someone looking to start stocking their first bar. Astute readers will notice I am focusing on spirits below. I think they provide the most bang for their buck and can be used in a variety of drinks. Plus, wine is not my forte. Beer goes in the fridge. 

Vodka (if you can’t taste the difference, great! If you can, I recommend Absolut as the best affordable vodka), non-scotch whisky (bourbon, rye, Tennessee, etc. Jack will be just fine, but I would rather spend a little more on some Bulliet), dark (not spiced, sorry Cap’n! Mount Gay works) rum. Those three will allow for a variety of mixed drinks that will appeal to many people. And if you want to do shots, you can.

From there, I would add gin (Hendrick’s is particularly nice for sipping) and tequila (100% blue agave if you can; Espolon Blanco and Hornitos Reposado are both great, affordable options). These allow for martinis, margaritas, and other citrus mixes that will benefit from these flavors. Tequila and assorted sodas (Coke or Squirt, in particular) also pair nicely.

Maybe then get some more whisky, if you like it. If you decide to go with some scotch, I would recommend looking for a lower priced scotch like Glenfiddich 12, which has some peat while not being overwhelming. Blended scotches also tend to be 10-20 bucks cheaper while providing some of those more generic  scotch flavors. Monkey Shoulder has treated me well. 

You might also decide to get into rum, in which case you can pick up something in the ten year range without breaking the bank (I enjoy Zaya, which has a forward vanilla flavor). I recommend sticking with dark, as they seem to benefit more from the aging (to me, at least). I would also recommend getting some light rum (Bacardi works) at this point, which pairs well with fruit juices and Jell-O shots (don’t use vodka, use light rum - trust me). And if you’ve been playing along with the above recommendations, you can now make a Long Island Iced Tea (vodka, gin, tequila, rum, sour mix; splash of Coke).

In addition to the alcohol, it’s good to keep some mixes and other additives on hand. Olives, cocktail onions, maraschino cherries, angostura bitters (while technically alcohol, these are usually added in drops, not ounces), lemons, limes, and oranges. Maybe some toothpicks and a bar shaker. A vegetable peeler can remove a slice of zest from the aforementioned fruit, classing up a drink instantly.

I don’t have any recommendations for non-standard, generally stand-alone products like Jagermeister or Malört. If you like them, then buy them. Same with Baileys and that chili-mango liqueur I bought one evening after many libations. Ahem. That’s a story for another time.

New Direction

It has been a while. What's happened? I got laid off, but was given sufficient warning and an ample severance package. Did some temp work at a good company that wasn't for me. Drank sundry beers (add me on Untappd: johnnydiscard).

What else?

Oh, right. I wrote and published a book! One Cold Day: A Zombie Story

It's about zombies. I've long been a fan of zombie movies, and then later the show The Walking Dead. I've read zombie books too, which is where things get interesting. In movies and TV there's mostly just slow zombies and fast zombies (and one boy band made up of zombies, but that was a shit movie and I won't look up the name). But in books, there's a whole lot of voodoo zombies, there's scientific zombies, there's things we call zombies because there's not a better word.

My book features slow zombies, though that word never gets used. They're "things", "those weird people", and even get called vampire in a state of confusion.

But you're here because of the booze, I know. Well you're in luck because the book I'm working on right now was codenamed Beer Story and it features some great beer imagery. Not sure when it'll be available though.

So anyway, I hope you check out my book. It's available via Amazon Kindle, and if you have Kindle Unlimited you can read it for free.

One Cold Day: A Zombie Story

Have a good one.

Pretzel Necklaces

Tomorrow is the first beer tasting event of the year (here at least) and I'm excited to wear some pretzels around my neck.

"What!?" you exclaim, doing a spit-take I imagine.

Yes, pretzel necklaces are what I'm talking about. I remember seeing them at my very first beer event and thought it was kinda weird but original of my friends. Once inside, I saw quite a few other people sporting them. It's apparently somewhat common. Hell, the concession stand sold a kit for them. By the way, those kits are terribad. Usually it's a bunch of regular pretzels and a string, but just super overpriced. All assembly required. Might as well make it yourself and get to customize it.

I use shoelaces, as the aglet (that hard end-piece that allows you to lace your shoes) makes threading the pretzels go much quicker. You can pick up a pair of laces for around a buck and then you'll have two necklaces waiting to happen.

The best part of making your own necklace is you get to pick what goes on it. I made a sweet giant pretzel necklace last year. I've seen Funyun necklaces, which I'm planning to do this year. Hell, one guy strung up some bagels, but that seems a bit much to me. If you're willing to possibly stab yourself with a needle, you could thread floss through Cheez-its or peanuts in their shells. Maybe I'll try that next year.

So wear your food. Eat your clothing. Enjoy many small glasses of beer.

And about those tasters: it's hard to keep track of all the beers in the day. I like to take pictures of the labels/signs/whatever for beers I really like. It's too much work for me to pull out a pen and pad of paper after the sixth taster. It's much easier to pull out my phone, snap a picture, and move on.

And if you're going to a beer festival or the like, be sure to wear sunscreen, drink water, and eat definitely before, probably during, and maybe after. Also, cab it or have a DD.

Bacon Bourbon

Do you like bacon? Of course you do. This is the internet. How about bourbon? Hopefully. And even if you don't, maybe you'll be intrigued enough to try this anyway.

What you'll need: Bacon, 750 mL bourbon, another container that will hold 750 mL (might I suggest a second, empty bourbon bottle), a glass measuring cup with spout.

Cook up the bacon. Save the fat; you'll need 2-3 ounces (1/4-3/8 of a cup). Let the fat cool a bit and then add it to the second bourbon bottle. Add as much of the first bottle as will comfortably fit into the second bottle. Make yourself a cocktail or something with the remaining bourbon before tomorrow, and save the bottle. Cap the bourbon/fat mixture and leave at room temperature for 4 hours. Place the bottle in the freezer on its side, freeze overnight. The bacon fat will harden into a slab on top of the bourbon, and the spout will remain useable. The next day, transfer the contents of frozen bottle to the empty bottle. You can strain it if you'd like, but I don't bother.

You can drink it neat, at room temperature (but you should store it in the fridge when you're not drinking it, just in case). It's also quite nice mixed with root beer.

My impetus to first making this was a vodka and grilled cheese party a couple of years ago. The idea was that everyone bring an infused vodka and there would be bread and cheese provided as well as many pans so we could eat grilled cheese sandwiches. I heartily endorse such ideas.

I made a jalapeño, lime, and mint infused vodka (wash and cut jalapeño lengthwise, put it in for a week; bruise the mint, put it in for last 24 hours; squeeze the juice of a lime into bottle and give a good shake before serving) but wanted to try bacon. My friend Nate was already going to make bacon vodka (sub vodka for the bourbon, otherwise it's the same; makes a great Bloody Mary) so I decided to try infusing bourbon instead. I'd read about it, but was still a little wary. So glad I pushed through.

Other meat fats could be used, I'm sure. I've seen a venison whisky recipe. I do have a tub of duck fat at home...

Drinking on the Job

This morning I got a pleasant surprise. I was cited in an AJ Jacobs' article: http://www.esquire.com/blogs/news/huddled-masses-drinking-on-job

My initial answer, from which he pulled my response, was, "First, you're assuming the post was truthful. I lie all the time on the internet. Or do I? Second, three beers does necessarily equal intoxication. It could, but depending on their size, ABV, employee's biology, etc. it might not have done very much at all. Third (and really first), do you have a policy about being under the influence of drugs and alcohol in place? If you do not, you have no footing to punish for the drinking itself. If the employee is capable of doing the job, that should be the determining factor."

(I realize I left out the word "not" in "does necessarily equal intoxication". Thankfully, AJ was able to grasp what I was saying.)

I'm not advocating drinking on the job. At least not for most jobs or most people. But I've had menial jobs in the past, and I would occasionally sneak off for a drink or two before alphabetizing a box of books or sweeping the porch free of leaves. Don't drink and drive. But I'd certainly say you should consider having a beer before, during, and/or after digging holes for a garden. Also, some writers find that alcohol helps them write. 

In college I would mix Jagermeister and SoBe's No Fear (an energy drink) for what I called a "Don't Fear the Jager". The ratio was usually 1:2, but I discovered that it helped with my writing. I would mix it much weaker, like 1:8 and I called that a "Paperwriter". The caffeine kept me going, and the little bit of alcohol loosened my inhibitions. I wrote many college papers, usually getting a B/B+. Once I got a D, but that was mostly because that class was much harder than the rest. (A word of warning: if you're going to stay up all night drinking and writing a paper, remember that you've been up all night drinking. That means take a cab or arrange a ride from someone. Also: don't go to fencing class, like I did. Dislocated my knee.)

I'm pursuing a career in writing, and I've found that a glass of absinthe can put me in the state of mind I need to write. While brainstorming the next section of my book, I like to grab a beer and let my mind wander. This infographic http://en.ilovecoffee.jp/posts/view/79 talks about the benefits of alcohol on creativity. Mad Men was right about that thing.

Scotch

This is a hard one for some people. The thick,smoky flavor seems to turn off a lot of people. I remember getting a glass of something that tasted like it would be much better as a dipping sauce for chicken and steak than something to be taken directly.

But it turns out that there are multiple types of Scotches out there, and they are from various parts of Scotland. So yes, there's the smoky barbecue ones, but there are also the lighter floral ones. I haven't researched Scotch well enough to tell you which regions have which flavor characteristics, but I can tell you that Glenfiddich 12 is a great start. It's not overly smoky and can be sipped neat or on the rocks.

The longer it's been aged, the mellower the flavor. There's a certain harshness to Scotch, I find, so this mellowing is desirable to me. I try to aim for 12 years, unless I'm feeling spendy. I've purchased a 21 year old bottle, but didn't enjoy it proportionally more. It was around $110, but I would have been better served by three $30-40 bottles.

Sometimes you'll find that it says it's been matured on sherry or port (or others). This indicates that after it sat in the barrel for X years, it was placed in a second barrel that was used to age that named alcohol. It will then finish in the second barrel for a few months before bottling. I've only had sherry finished once, but it didn't make a good impression on me. I've had friends drink the same bottle with me, and they liked it. Port and sauterne are good though. I've also had some good luck with rum barrels.

There's single malt, blends, etc. Single malt costs more, and it's good. Blends can be nice, but not necessarily. They tend to be cheaper though, so maybe you could start with a blended 12 year old Scotch to see if that appeals. Save some money that way.

That's another thing. Scotch is pricey. A quality vodka goes for about $30 a bottle. A fine bottle of Scotch goes for that price. I've routinely spent $45~50 for a good 12 year. I think it's worth the money, but you may not.

Story time children (but hopefully no actual children are reading this).

My friend Nate loves smoky Scotches. The smokier, the better. Me, not so much. But he did recommend smoking a nice cigar with them. The idea is that the smoke of the cigar will overpower the smokiness of the Scotch, like eating candy and then drinking soda. But instead of getting a mouthful of crap-tasting swill, the other flavors are brought to the forefront. Scotches are rarely a one-trick pony.

We did a cigar, Scotch and Archer night at my place (wait, I had something for this). I should have taken a picture of the table that night. I think we had 10 bottles. We started lightest to heaviest. When it came time to hit the super smokies, we did a taste pre-cigar. It was overwhelming. We went to the patio to smoke, bringing our glasses, and the bottles because why not.

Outside, we lit the cigars and just enjoyed their aroma for a while. Finally, I grabbed my glass and took another sip. Wow, what a difference. I tasted orange and spice, and some other stuff, I'm sure. You're probably thinking it was just due to the Scotch breathing. I wondered that myself. I poured a fresh finger and gave it a sip. It wasn't quite as good as the glass that I just finished, but I definitely could taste the flavors under the smoke.

A few more glasses were had. Stories told; jokes swapped; cigars finally stubbed out.

We resumed inside, re-visiting several bottles and finishing off the marathon. Soon the sun came out. We had been up all night drinking Scotch and smoking cigars. Hardly a bad way to spend 8 hours. I fished out two cigarettes and we called it a morning. He said he was OK to drive, and he seemed like he was.

I got a text saying he was home. I went to bed. I knew I'd have to clean up later. Much later.

Doppelbock

I went to a beer tasting at Mercury Lounge a few weeks ago.  I had Paulaner's Salvator for the first time, and it was one of my favorite beers of the evening.  People have called it "liquid bread" and it is quite hardy.  I was then told of a blog by a brewer who did a beer and water fast for Lent, and not only survived, but was in great health at the end.  I don't feel like linking, but it was a good read.

Based upon the accompanying lecture, the beer style was originally called salvator, but at some point the name was bought and now it's Salvator, capitalized.  Doppelbock is the name of the style, and beers ending in -ator are likely to be one.  But if you're not into learning about beer, all you need to know is that it's a strong beer (around 8%) and quite malty.  I had one for dinner, along with some water, and I'm not at all hungry.

I've picked up several six packs since that day, and at some point would like to do my own beer and water fast.  But probably just for a week.  It would be mostly for fun, to see if I could do it.  When I get around to it, I'll take notes.  And of course, I'll write them up nicely for y'all to read.

I'm told that it is technically possible to live on nothing but milk and Guinness.  I won't be trying that experiment though.

Tokyo tea

I'm sure you're familiar with the Long Island tea (vodka, gin, tequila, light rum, triple sec, sour mix, cola) but the Tokyo tea is less popular, though I'm not sure why.  It's mostly the same ingredients as the Long Island, but Midori is substituted for the triple sec (or simply added, if the bar isn't stingy) and no cola.  Sour mix usually.  Back in college my friend Sam told me about 'em.  Once I was 21, I got one at Joe's (if you've been to Santa Barbara, you should know about Joe's).  The bartender garnished with a lime, which was brilliant.  I've had it made by other bartenders who garnish with a cherry, but the drink is already sweet enough.  The bitterness of the lime is much nicer, in my opinion.

I picked up the ingredients, but I went with cheaper booze than I usually buy.  The vodka, gin and light rum were all fine.  The tequila, however, was a bad idea.  Even with using only the slightest splash of tequila, it was off.  Today, I decided to go with some better tequila.  I picked up some Hornitos at the market.  I mixed up a supersized drink this evening.  One shot each of vodka, gin, tequila, and rum, half a shot of triple sec and two shots of Midori.  To that, I added a splash of margarita mix (sour mix is hard to find here) two splashes of soursop juice (an Asian fruit, I can't explain the flavor) and three splashes of 7up.  It's eminently better.  Though a lime wedge would be even better.

Other variations I've been served included pineapple juice instead of sour mix (good, but different) and sans tequila (something to consider if you don't like tequila, but you're making me sad).  And remember, even if it's "normal sized" it's still a lot of booze.  Be careful and have fun!

Hooch

Well not exactly, but I have started making my own alcohol at home.  By federal law, I'm allowed 100 gallons of beer and 100 gallons of wine a year.  That seems like a lot.  There's a kit one can buy online (I don't feel like looking it up right now) and it comes with pre-measured yeast packs and an airlock.  I started with pineapple, but the brand I was using had pulp, which ended up blocking the vent and caused the airlock to pop off.  I'll keep my eyes out for a pineapple juice without solids in it.  Right now I'm finishing off my apple.  It's not very strong, but it tastes nice. 

I found it especially nice last evening after a night of drinking and dancing.  Most people probably associate hangovers with waking up the next day, but I've noticed that if I drink enough early in the day, I will start to get a headache once I stop drinking.  One way to curb it is to grab a beer and take a swig.  Usually that does the trick, but it's important to not drink too much more.  So I went out for a friend's birthday, but it was also St Patrick's Day.  I started drinking around 7:30 and stopped at 10, or so.  Once downtown, I had a little water and a Red Bull.  Much dancing.  Afterward, I swung by McDonald's for some chicken nuggets and then headed home.  I noticed this weird feeling and identified it as the very beginning of the hangover.  I poured a glass of sturm (technically what I made) and that staved it off until I was asleep.

I decided I would look it up after all.  My e-mail confirmation calls the kit "DIY Juice to Alcohol Kit".  Reading online in various homebrew forums shows the contempt some people have for it, as it's not very sophisticated.  I don't care.  It makes alcohol ;)

Hangovers

It has been a while.  I've been drinking, but nothing special.  Last weekend, I had some friends over to play cards and we killed six Coronas each (with no hangover the next day).  Then on Sunday was the Super Bowl.  I think I watched about 10 seconds of the game.  I also drank a lot of sangria, but it wasn't that great.  People said they liked it, and it was fine, but it was missing something.  There were also several shots of Fireball (cinnamon whisky) and some Jim Beam Black.  And some beers.  More Fireball.  But not enough food or water.  I can't know for certain, but I probably would have felt better if I had drank more water and eaten more food.

OK, I guess I'll write about hangovers.  They are an important part (consequence) of drinking.  There are other consequences, but I'll save those for another day.

Back in college, I didn't get hangovers.  Even with my worst nights of drinking, I'd wake up feeling fine.  I do miss that.  Some time after I got a full time job is when I noticed the hangovers starting.  It probably was due to a combination of my not drinking as often, thus lowering my tolerance and my just getting older.  But I did learn a couple of "tricks" to help combat them.  The biggest was eating.  My last Halloween in IV, I ordered 3 large pizzas and made everyone eat some before I would pour them a drink.  Some people only had the minimum of one slice, and were in a shitty place later for it.  I had 3 or 4 slices and was fine.  We were drinking hard, too.  One guy didn't even get past the pre-party before getting sick.  He only had one slice.  He was kind of a dick, too, so I did get a certain joy from seeing him miserable.

Honestly, that's my only tip.  I never drink enough water when I'm boozing to know if it really has an appreciable effect on my next day.  In theory, it should help.

And mixing is fine.  Aside from the Mythbusters episode where they showed mixing beer and liquor actually lead to a decreased hangover (when actual alcohol intake remains the same), my theory is that it's easy to lose count when mixing.  So really, just learn how many drinks you can have safely and stick to that number (or fewer).  I know six beers is fine for me.  I'm not sure if 12 are.  Guess I'll have to do some more research ;)

Sangria

I remember seeing a segment on Wild On about it back in high school.  They made it out to be some magic elixir.  The footage was even omitted of the guy making it.  Well fine, I don't fuckin' care.  They're probably sour anyway.  (I haven't read the story, but I know the gist.)

Several years later, Matt was making... No wait, those were mojitos (I'll have to write about those another day).  OK, I don't actually remember when I first had it.  I do know that at some point Matt told me his recipe.  Red wine, fruit, sugar, brandy, cinnamon.  I made a test batch and liked it.  I then wondered if I couldn't use white wine instead.  So I made a big pitcher of red and a big pitcher of white and threw a party.  I didn't have sugar, so I used Splenda (which I don't really recommend).  I also had a juicer handy, so I was able to incorporate fresh juice, the pulp (I used only edible pieces - no cores/seeds) as well as chunks of fruit.  Brandy.  Everyone loved it.  My only regret was using non-disposable cups.

Then came World Cup last year and Mike threw a party.  He made sangria, and invited other people to try their hand at making some, too.  There were several available, and I was lit.  I don't remember which was my favorite, but I do know I learned that other spirits could be used profitably.  The batch I assisted with used Bacardi Limon, which I can recommend.

I now had sangria fever.  I started making it weekly, trying different alcohols, different fruits, different diluting agents.  Oh yeah, that's another thing I learned.  This time from Paul.  His summer party was a hit, and I talked drinks with many people.  One lady said she'd used vodka and pineapple in her sangria recipe (I'd be willing to try that) and another person swore by strawberries and oranges as the only acceptable fruit.  After a few glasses I noticed I wasn't nearly as drunk as I would've been on my own batch.  Was it that I was eating too?  No.  Paul came outside to refill the pitchers and I saw him pour wine, rum, and ginger ale over the fruit.  Ginger ale?  He was diluting it, bringing the alcohol level to somewhere around 6-7% instead of the probably 18% mine was.

But I wasn't done experimenting.  After a Bloody Mary kick (these may warrant an entry) I was excited to try other spicy drinks.  I decided to throw a jalapeno in my next sangria pitcher.  Yes!  I was hooked.  I took it to parties and people either loved it or hated it.  Or thought it was OK.  (Do you miss Mitch too?)  But mostly I loved it and others were sometimes willing to drink it with me.  I also used a serrano once, but due to unfortunate circumstances, I was unable to serve that particular batch.  So sad.

Right now I've got a bunch of fruit soaking in my fridge.  They're floating in a mixture of light rum, triple sec, gold tequila, dark rum, more light rum, and some water (I wanted to cover all the fruit, but not completely destroy it).  Tomorrow I'll drain the liquid, add a little more dark rum and then add the wine.  And come next Sunday, it will be awesome.

Hot beer!

This is an admittedly small selection (unless I've just somehow missed the rest) of beers.  And only one of them is available outside of Santa Barbara, CA.  I'll start at the beginning.

I like to do happy hours with people from work.  They tend to last several hours, and usually I end up with an eighty dollar tab (I'm not complaining).  A few years back we had one at the Brewhouse in SB, but the only seating available was in the dining area.  It was decided we would make this a dinner/happy hour combination.  I don't remember what my first beer was, but I do remember my favorite.  Rick bought a round of tasters for the table (free booze!) and we toasted to something I'm sure.  I took a swig.  Oh!  Fu- OK!  I wasn't expecting that.  I call down the table to ask what it is.  Habanero Pilsner.  I take a smaller sip, this time knowing what I'm getting into.  It was spicy.  Very spicy.  And cold.  The combination wasn't something I was then familiar with.  Oh sure, I'd had a Bloody Mary (and didn't care for it - it was at Zodo's) but this was nice.  I steeled myself and took a large swig.  Wow!  It was hot, but I liked it.  I drained the remaining mouthful and then turned to ask others what they thought.  Almost everyone was not pleased.  Rick looked bummed.  Valerie told me I could have hers, which I did.  James handed me his.  Pretty much every glass made its way to me.

A few years later I was at the first annual Zoo Brew (zoo beer tasting fundraiser) and the Brewhouse had a tent.  I got a pour and drained it pretty quickly.  I ask (um...) Yager what he thought.  He was OK with it.  Jennifer, his wife was not.  She let me have hers.  That was the last drop I had that day, as they ran out pretty quickly.  The next year at Zoo Brew I found their tent right away and proceeded to get in line and wait my turn.  I got a pour of the good stuff and said I'd be back.  I got in line again and again.  My third time through, the serving girl offered to let me chill in the tent and they would just refill my glass as needed.  Really?  I edged over to the side.  You mean it?  Yes!  I made small talk with the people in the line when they asked how I got my job.  I made something up.  After probably an hour (and several pours) the brewmaster comes to the tent.  I figure the jig is up, but he doesn't kick me out.  We discuss beer, the event, the intricacies of, well, no, mostly just beer and the event.  I took some pictures and had a great time.  Finally, I said my goodbyes and I was told I should visit the restaurant.  Oh right, I could have just been going there all this time to get the Habanero Pilsner.  Duh!

There's another beer fundraiser (something about rugby) and I haul ass to the Brewhouse tent to start off on a hot note.  They don't have the beer.  Damn.  I get a pour of something else and wonder where to go next.  Meanwhile I overhear one of the guys talking about not wanting to pour full glasses since most people won't like it.  He pulls a pitcher from beneath the counter and pours just a smidge of this dark-dark-dark beer into a glass.  The other man takes a careful sip and coughs.  I ask what it is, and I'm told it's a ghost chili beer.  I drain my glass and ask for a taste.  He gives me the same spiel.  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I take a cautious sip.  I think I did a little dance.  It was hot, yes.  But it was also deep and almost chocolaty.  I finish the half ounce and ask for a full pour.  I think I got six pours throughout the day.  I told everyone to try it.  I now have to go back to the Brewhouse and get a pitcher.  Spoiler alert: they only made it for the event.  And while they had some left over, they only sold it in tiny tasters.  I got one and it had a piece of chili floating in it!  I didn't eat it, but I did savor the beer.  I ended up getting a pitcher of the Habanero Pilsner, which was excellent.

Finally, for those of you not in Santa Barbara (and you really should be) I present the only commercially available spicy beer I know of: Cave Creek Chili Beer.  I picked up a six pack while in Arizona (and some other stuff that I may have to write about one day, as well as the Everclear I already wrote about).  Back at the ranch, I pulled a bottle out and pulled off the cap with my bottle opener ring.  I casually look into the bottle as I'm bringing it to my mouth and see something not-beer colored in the bottle.  I pull the bottle away and over into some better light.  There at the bottom is a chili pepper.  I pick up another bottle.  It has one too.  Hmmm.  I take a swig.  Another.  I swish a third mouthful.  This shit's good.  It's nowhere near as spicy as Brewhouse's offerings, but it is certainly spicy as far as beer goes.  I tell Adam he should try one.  He's got a beer in hand, but says he'll have one afterward.  A little while later I head a loud, "Wow!" come from the kitchen.  Apparently I'm not the only one who likes them.  Of all the drinks purchased at Liquor Castle, the Chili Beer is the only one to not make it back home.  It was a hit and I only wish I had bought more.

A quick Google search brings up one of the worst looking websites I've seen in recent memory, but it would seem that BevMo! carries it.  I wish I had seen that sooner.  I see a BevMo! run is in my future.

Horchata

Horchata in of itself isn't alcholic.  Better fix that!  I've been drinking it (Mexican version; without alcohol) since I was five or six.  But it wasn't until college (common theme?) that I tried boozing it up.  Jennifer liked to watch shows like Dawson's Crack.  The plan was to get dinner, head back to her place to watch (ugh) some of those shows and then out to a party afterward.  We'd gotten Mexican for dinner at the now-gone Rincon Taqueria, and I picked up a horchata.  Back at her place, I found myself climbing the walls with how boring the show was.  I checked her cupboard for something to dull the pain and found some Captain Morgan.  I poured a couple of shots in and soldiered on.

This evening I felt like having some horchata.  I don't have any rum at the moment, so I looked around and saw whisky.  Hmmm, that could work.  But wait!  I have Fireball (cinnamon whisky).  Cinnamon goes with horchata.  Let's try that.  It was nice.  Not spectacular, but certainly worth drinking.   I don't know if it exists, but cinnamon dark rum would probably go well.  I'll have to keep an eye out.

Chelas

My first experience with them was just so-so.  My roommate Carl told me about them and offered to make me one, too.  Sure, why not?  It was supposed to be something like a beer based Bloody Mary, but with some substitutions (beer for vodka was obvious, soy sauce for Worcestshire (sp?) sauce was a surprise).  I took a sip.  Mmm.  It was OK, but not necessarily something I would want to drink often.  About six months later my friend Adam hands me a Chelas mix cup, a V8 and a beer.  He says he saw it at the store and thought I might like it.  What a sweetheart ;)

I open the cup and find a little packet of chili powder, a salted and dried thing (apricot, it turns out) and a stirrer.  I pour in the beer and some V8, give it a swirl and take a swig.  Whoa!  Now this was good!  I end up getting a few more over the next month or so, but find it a hassle to go looking for the cups whenever I want one.  Plus they're two bucks for a little chili powder and a salted piece of fruit.  Can't I just buy the stuff myself and mix it together?  Yes, yes I can.

My personal recipe: 6 shakes of Cholula, 2 shakes of chili powder (these are all technical measurements, of course), 1 saladito (I use the plum, as I haven't found apricot ones), about 4 ounces spicy Camaronazo (like Clamato, but shrimp instead of clam) and a 12 oz beer.  I prefer Modelo Especial, but found that original Budweiser tastes almost exactly the same and is significantly cheaper.  It's spicy, saucy, and flat (the juice quashes the carbonation).  It doesn't work with all beers (Belgians especially) but definitely try it with a lager.  An IPA sounds like a possibility too.  Maybe next time?

Vodka Gummies

I believe it was 2007.  Stefani told me about a gift she had received from a friend: vodka soaked gummy bears.  She said they were awesome.  I wanted to get her something she would really like for her birthday, so I found the recipe and tried it out.  I was sold.  She loved her gift.

I've actually made several batches since then, but it's not something that I think to make very often.  You see, the problem lies in the prep-work.  If I want, say, a Bloody Mary, and have the ingredients, I can make one and have it in a very short time.  Vodka gummy bears takes about 24 hours for the vodka to soak in sufficiently.  48 hours are even better.

The beauty of the vodka gummy bear (aside from its glistening adorableness) is that different flavored gummies can be used, and different flavored vodkas, too.  Do you like lime?  If you're willing to sort your bears, you can fill a small sandwich bag or lidded cup (being able to seal the container is a good thing) and pour enough lime vodka (why not?) over them to cover, and toss it in your fridge for a day.  I recommend using a spoon or toothpick to eat them with, as they are rather slimy.

I waited 48 hours and then dug in this evening.  I had used standard gummy bears and soda flavored gummy (barrels?), along with some French vodka.  When they were gone, I saw there was some vodka-syrup left over.  So I poured a little club soda in the bowl, swished it about and drank down a mouthful of boozy childhood memories.

Edited 12/JAN/12 (because it didn't really have an ending, as so much just stop):
As I watched a Seinfeld re-run, I felt quite inebriated, but it didn't make sense at first.  Despite the fact that there was quite a bit of vodka (I didn't measure, so I'm really not sure how much) I hadn't "drank" more than ounce or two.  So, you should probably keep that in mind should you decide to give these a whirl.  And you really should.

Blue Moon

On my walk home, I decided I needed beer. Well, not need exactly, but want. I picked up a sixer of Blue Moon bottles, though I think I prefer it in a can. Sadly, 7 Eleven does not carry a wide selection of beer and I should just be grateful they sell Blue Moon at all.

Speaking of Blue Moon cans.  Aside from their superior taste, they are much safer to drink in the shower (over the bottles, not other canned beers.  Or are they?)  OK, so this requires a story too.

Back in college, I was hanging out at my friend Mac's place.  The plan was to eventually walk down to DP and try to find some parties.  Mac said he needed to shower first, so I booted up the DVR and looked for something to watch.  As he left the living room, he went to the kitchen and grabbed an armful of beers, didn't offer me one, and went down the hall.  One episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force later and I'm figuring he must be almost done.  Another episode of ATHF passes and still no Mac.  Finally, halfway through the third he walks into the living room.  Drunk.  It seems he drank all those beers in the shower.  It seemed weird to me at the time.

Fast forward to that summer.  I had purchased a six pack of Mike's Hard Cranberry and was enjoying their crisp flavor on a hot summer day.  Hot for the Santa Barbara area, at least.  I realized I needed to shower before heading out, but wasn't done drinking.  So I took my half full bottle into the shower and drank it while the water washed over me.  I set the bottle on the ground outside of the shower and proceeded to shower as usual.  Therein lies the problem with bottles.  I was too concerned that my hands would not be able to grip the bottle completely and I'd drop it, getting lacerations on my bare feet.

Rewind to this last summer.  I had just discovered Blue Moon cans.  I picked up the last case and wondered how it could be.  I was pleased with the flavor.  But it wasn't until a couple nights later that I discovered just how awesome they could be.  I couldn't sleep and thought maybe a hot shower and a beer afterward might do the trick.  Hold on a sec, I have canned beer.  Blue Moon cans no less.  I grab two from the fridge and head to the shower.  I was free to drink them at my leisure, since even if I dropped it, there'd be no carnage.  Not that I planned on dropping them.  30 minutes and two beers later, I'm feeling much more relaxed.  I towel off and hit the sack.  Sleep achieved.

Everclear

While in Arizona last month, I picked up a bottle of Everclear.  I had it at my friend's bachelor party when I was 19 and remembered it being an unpleasant experience.  I also know that it's not meant to be had straight (it even says so on the bottle).  So, I've a bottle in my collection.  I ended up deciding on pineapple juice as a mixer.  And I daresay, it works.  I tend to keep it to just the one drink though, as it's not actually that great tasting.  Everclear imparts a very boozy flavor, even when mixed with more mixer than I would use with something like vodka or light rum.

But what about that bachelor party?  James was, at the time, one of my best friends.  He was also, at one time, quite the hellraiser.  But that was before we met.  You see, James is also several years older, and had put most of that behind him.  He was now a father and also helping to raise his bride's-to-be two boys.  However, the Everclear unlocked something that night (it was probably just the amount he had to drink, and not any specific spirit) and he lost it.  He jumped on a car and ended up punching the windshield a few times, cracking it in several large places.  It took several grown men to pick him up and carry him from the car.  He also could not recognize his fiancee when she finally came home from her bachelorette party (I'm told) and refused to let her in the bedroom.  Somehow the Everclear became the culprit (and not James' obvious problem with alcohol) and the remainder was poured out a few weeks later at a BBQ, and set on fire.  Everclear burns very brightly, in case you wondered.

I've never gone crazy from it.  But don't drink it straight.  It tastes like burning.

Pimm's

Back in college, I was told by one of my English neighbors about Pimm's.  She couldn't tell me what it was exactly, but just that it was an amazing thing they drank back home.  Fast forward to my first year out of college, and I'm being told similar by my Oklahoman (I believe), actually is a grandma, co-worker.  Pimm's is apparently the shit, regardless of age or national origin.

Finally, one fateful night in San Jose, I have Pimm's and ginger ale, and it was grand.  Why wasn't I drinking this all along?  And why does no one carry this?  Of course, I can't really tell you what it is.  It's a liqueur, per the label, and it tastes "herbal".  There's a sweet bitterness (similar in fashion - but not flavor - to grapefruit).  And it's awesome with ginger ale.  I have yet to have it in lemonade, but that's supposed to be pretty good too.  I'd give it a try tonight, but I'm taking the evening off from drinking.  Between last night and tomorrow night, some rest must be had.

Let's start in the middle

So a friend of mine suggested I start a blog about drinking.  Another friend suggested I do it, but maybe make it a little more, "Hey, here's an interesting drink to try.  I'll let you know my impression," and less, "Hey, here's eleven interesting drinks to try tonight.  And here's how I woke up spooning the toilet."

To be fair, I was already thinking of making it more the first anyway.  Drinking stories are great, but not necessarily something to make a permanent, public record about.

But since I'm at work at the moment (typing this while on my break) I suppose this entry can be neither.  Along the way, I'll try to find old posts I've made around the internet regarding drinks I've had and maybe even some drinking stories to boot.  In fact, since you're here, I'll even tell a quick one.

Last week was a friend's going away happy hour.  I'll call her Heather.  We're at the second bar and have just secured seating.  I ask if she wants a car bomb, as I haven't bought her a drink yet (though I did buy her boyfriend one already at the first place, in playful spite - so she'll have to take care of him the next day.  Let's call him Ben.)  She says sure and I head to the bar.  "Seven car bombs."  "We should be friends," a haggard drunk woman says.  I half-smile and kinda nod.  I help the bartender carry the drinks to our table and we toast to Heather and Ben. (I probably won't remember these names in future entries and end up giving them additional names.)  Everyone pounds their drink.  Everyone, except for Heather, who is slowly sipping what looks like a glass of caramel cottage cheese.  "You're supposed to pound it before, well, that happens."  Further drinks are had, additional places visited, cabs taken.

My favorite drink of the night was at Arch Rock Fish, called The El Presidio (yes, "the el," I know).  From their website: Absolut Pears, St Germain Elderflower Liqueur, pink grapefruit juice, lemon juice, micro flower (apparently, though I'm sure it could be omitted); served chilled, straight-up.